E V O L

I had the biggest epiphany at work today at my second job.

I work as a mentor at a treatment center and that job is my heart.

Anyways... we were doing this meditating session.

I have been having the worst luck with matters of the heart and "men" (more like boys with their behavior or lack thereof).

You know me. Love is the definition of me. I love love more than anyone. I am a hopeless romantic. The hopeless-est hopeless romantic. My heart is so overflowing with love I cannot comprehend that it hasn't burst or broke after all the heartbreak I've suffered...

Well recently, I've had horror experiences with a few of these boys...

One from the past that was on and off since 2015. The other one I met at an institute class. And the last one I've know since 2012 that we've secretly had a thing for but he is so hot/cold and older and all about his "routine" and I think it's a pathetic excuse for being alone for the rest of his life. I feel sorry for him, actually. He'll never know love...passionate, unconditional, beautiful, maddening, compassionate, and a zillion other adjectives LOVE. True love. His loss. All of their losses.

What is wrong with men these days? They all want one thing and one thing only: they see me a beautiful, gorgeous face with a lovely body and you know what they want next... me. To use me and check me off their lists of conquests. They promise love, forever, marriage. At least the 2015 one. It's all bullshit and lies (excuse my language but after his behavior you would validate my use of profanity). What happened to chivalry, hopeless romance, romance in general, men who want forever, I may not be your first but why can't I be your last? Is love really dead? Is it all a lie? I refuse to settle for broken promises and one night stands. No boy will use me for sick twisted pleasure. I want a best friend who loves me for me in spite of the past and everything. I want a man who will love me as much as I love him. A giver and taker just like me. Equality. Pure, sweet, beautiful, passionate, compassionate, maddening, gorgeous, mind blowing, unconditional, spiritual, all of you love. I WILL NEVER SETTLE AGAIN. I hate myself for losing my first love. We were the closest thing to perfect for one another. However, I was young and listened to all the voices of family and friends instead of my heart and lost him 10 years ago and he will never be back... I have to believe in fate though. Everything happens for a reason. Then there was my abusive temple marriage. Two years of hell. It started out so romantic and lovely and everything I thought I wanted. He was a sweetheart turned into a stranger who hurt me in every possible way. And cheated. The only serious relationship I've had since was with 2015 boy. He's actually a man about 9 years older than me. But his name doesn't deserve to be spoken. He's a coward. A liar. Selfish. I can't believe I fell for his sweet nothings. NEVER AGAIN.

Anyways, we meditated for an hour today and it was so profound...

I discovered there is one thing you cannot buy with all the money in the world, you could spend forever searching and chasing and trying desperately to find it and force it, you can wish on stars til you're blue in the face but you are wasting your time... what is this thing I'm talking about in the twenty first century where everything is available at our fingertips or if you have the money and means?

L O V E

or 

spelled backwards

E V O L

You cannot fight fate. 

Love finds you... when you least expect it. When you aren't looking for it. I believe all I can do is pray to my Heavenly Father that he will lead my future husband to me and continue to live my best life doing what I love and being the best me and advancing with my two jobs and school and writing and if (and I pray with all of me if) love really does exist still in these modern times, He will lead him into my life if I am patient and doing my thing. Making my own happiness. I had a life coach once named Todd Sylvester (Google him he is AMAZING. LIFE CHANGING.) He taught me one of the most important lessons of my life. 

He told me in his office one day as I was crying over loneliness,

"Charley, I love my wife with all my heart, but she doesn't make me happy."

I looked at him like he was insane. Who says that?

Then he said this:

"Don't get me wrong, I love her. She is the love of my life. She enhances my happiness. But I make myself happy. If I wasn't happy on my own, I couldn't be happy with her. You have to be able to be happy by yourself in order to love someone. No one can make you happy but you."

And that lesson changed my life forever.

Thank you to my dear friend Payden for reminding me of this lesson. He was also in treatment with me and saw Todd. It's the truth. You make yourself happy. Then you can be happy with another person. So be happy. Choose happiness. Fight for it. Ignore the haters or naysayers. Be happy everyday. 

I love you all. You are loved. 

"You might not recognize her anymore. Things were different now, she was beginning to make sense of who she was becoming. Sure, it took some time to get here, and maybe she took a few ill advised turns. But the long way isn't always the wrong way. Her route, her rules. Everything that made her beautiful, made her slightly terrifying. She would challenge you, sweet lipped, but with a look that was deliberate.  A gaze with weight, that meant something. Some things can't just be singular. And when they change, it's because they have to. Not to fit in, or stand out, but to survive. You might not have a say in that, or even make sense of it. But she gets it. She understands that she really can be whoever she wants to be, so long as she stays herself. She felt for things, and people, and her dreams wholeheartedly. Some carry so much conviction, and life, that they're never truly alone. You won't take that from her."

-J. Raymond

"I love the way she survived. Survival looked good on her. There were no dark marks under her eyes. Maybe deep inside, but I liked the way she looked through them and laughed at life. She did it gracefully. She'd walked over glass and through fire, but still smiled. And, honestly, I'm not interested in people who haven't lived and died a few times. Who haven't yet had their heart ripped out, or know what it feels like to lose everything. I trust those people, because they stand for something. I knew what she'd been through."

-J. Raymond

"She's falling in love with herself again she's learning once more what it means to be happy on her own."

-r.h Sin

"And maybe, for now, a happy ending doesn't include a relationship. Maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on."

"You are not his princess.

You are your own queen."

-Nikita Gill

"Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself."

"There's so much more to life than being sad over someone who doesn't. There's a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself and it doesn't need to be empty or painful. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, write on bathroom stalls, sit in a coffee shop on your own, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love. Life for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn't any less beautiful, I promise."

-Emery Allen

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."

-Lucille Ball

"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love."

-Brene Brown

"Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?"

-Brigham Young

<W/L3

Charley Brooke

The Scarlet Letter[s]

Scarlet Letters

Definition: A visible symbol of something you have done and regretted, or a stigma of past mistake you made that follows you.

A stigma someone bears for a misdeed he or she has committed (sometimes against their will). The term refers to an ongoing, public shame forced upon a person as a means of ostracizing him or her. 

"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom."

-Nathanial Hawthorne

"Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? Under the shadow of our steeples. With all the lost and lonely people searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me. If judgment looms under every steeple. If lofty glances from lofty people who can't see past her scarlet letter. And never even meet her."

"We show off our different scarlet letters.

Trust me mine is better.

Cause baby I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me.

And everyday is like a battle.

Baby we're the n e w r o m a n t i c s. 

Come on, come along with me.

Heartbreak is the national anthem.

We sing it proudly.

Please take my hand &

please take me dancing.

It's so romantic."

-Taylor Swift, New Romantics

Don't let who you were talk you out of who you are becoming.

"Our flaws almost make us greater."

-Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

 When I was in therapy, my therapist made me do a "Masks Assignment" that reminded me of the Scarlet Letters we bear like weights nearly suffocating whether people assign us with them or we perceive them as such. These were my masks and my explanations...

The "Not Enough"/Scarlet Letters-Labels Mask

This mask seems permanent. It scares me. It represents all of the negative labels I carry in my heart to describe myself or how others see me. These labels spread through my blood like poison. It feels like these labels are tattooed all over my head, face, and body making it impossible for anyone to see the real Charley. The good. The strong badass princess. Labels like "Not good enough", "Not pretty enough", "Divorced", "Unable to have kids", "Depressed", "Failure", "Survivor of a Suicide Attempt", etc. This entails beating myself up so badly that if someone else tries to it won't hurt as much. It's been a game where I'm my own judge, jury, and executioner... over and over. It's involved putting up walls around me and my heart so tall they nearly reach the stars. I keep people out. I'm quiet because I fear rejection and ridicule. I use this mask like a safety blanket. I use to think it helping me by shutting people out to avoid more heartache. Now I know it's not true. This mask does way more harm than good. It causes me and my glimmer of self worth to decrease rather than increase. Scarlet letters like a noose.

The Conformity People Pleasing Mask

This mask stems from a fear of rejection and conflict. It's like I want everyone to like me and think good things about me even though you can't control other people's thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I'm not fake, but I am rarely completely real unless you're family or a close friend. While this mask has helped me avoid drama and contention, it's kept me from fully experiencing my true emotions and thoughts and expressing them. I've tended to put others needs before my own. I don't give in to peer pressure or things that go against my values. I feel like I have to be like and agree with other people in order for them to like and accept me. I am working on being my full authentic self, unapologetic, because I want people in my life who love me for me.

The Fake Smile, Always Positive, Pretend Everything's Perfect Mask

This mask began in childhood when my parents got divorced. As the oldest child, I felt I was the one who had to stay strong even when everything was going wrong. By repressing the bad emotions, you also suppress the good, the happiness. I have to fake smile. I feel like I always have had to pretend everything is just perfect and force positivity or they assume I'm not okay. This has been the most challenging mask to shed. 

No Mask

I am happy I am now the real and genuine Charley--no masks!  

This is the hardest, most difficult thing I've ever I've ever been through. It's the worst kind of trial, but I'm also realizing that this is the best kind of blessing. He [my ex husband] almost ended my life. . . and I saved it. 

This marriage would've never ended in happily ever after.

In the midst of this, I've felt feelings of utter worthlessness. I've felt like I am such a stupid girl. I've felt like I ruined my life. I've told myself no on will ever love me again. I'll be branded with the letter "D" carried around my neck for all to see; the divorced girl whose marriage lasted less than a year. Of "F"  for failure. A million other similar words. People are going to think what they want. The only judge that matters is Heavenly Father and the Savior. They, like me, know the truth. 

I know the truth sets you free.

No matter how many lies you try to bury it with, you can never hide the truth.

Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Know it. Even when the truth is hard and cold and more painful that you've ever imagined. And even when truth is more cruel that any lie. One letter I'll never bear is "G" for guilty.

I am not perfect.

I've never claimed to be. 

I am honest and innocent though;

with a perfect brightness of hope

I feel a responsibility to do what's upstanding and right.

I've heard whispers and people pointing out my flaws like I don't already see them.

Here's the thing... I refuse to let anything, anyone, and/or any situation take my progress away from me. When I just took my life back and made it mine. Who I was will never be who I am. My recovery and hard work, dreams and dedication to rebuilt a life worth living come first. Until you help yourself, you're no good to others. I am full of unconditional love, forgiveness, and support for all of my family and friends and you lovelies all of the time. However, I have to protect the positivity and light within me from any negativity and darkness caused by poor, careless decisions, actions, and words of others. 

I can't change others nor can you.

I am changing myself every day and trying to set a good example. 

While I am unable to change others (as much as I wish I could), I hope my story of my triumphs, rising above tragedies, overcoming trials, strengthening testimony, and transformation can inspire the world to change. 

There are so many things that amaze me such as life in general--the fragility, the possibility, the wonder, the beauty, the potential--that to list them all would be an impossible task like counting every single star in the galaxy. 

I have found love again that defies the past, the imperfections, the loneliness, the unfairness, the mistakes, the heartbreak, the hate, hurt, and negativity of others around me trying to destroy me and rob me of all the hope, happiness, love, light, progress, and positivity inside me, the fears that haunt me, and the excruciating, soul crippling, unbearable physical pain that was killing me second by waking second.

I am in love with myself.

The girl I've become and the girl I'm becoming. I love me. I love life. I love my life, this new blank canvas of a life I am living, building, and creating day by day, moment by moment.

Depression blinds you to the beauty of life and the miracle and purpose of it all.

It makes you forget how much you love life--even when it's bad, sad, confusing, and downright tragic.

Apathy takes over your heart. Fear hijacks your mind. Despair and misery slowly suck the life right out of you. This is just a basic description of what depression feels like.

My point is with the gospel, God, therapy, positive coping skills, good habits, time, and support from family and friends, I've conquered my depression, chose happiness, and took my life back.

Hope is always there and waiting to be found.

You may be lost, but hope never is.

The key is faith. Fear is the opposite of faith. Sometimes we hide behind our fears because we're afraid of change or failure. The truth is that faith is stronger than the whole world's fears combined. If we have faith, we need not fear. I choose faith. I have faith. In the words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf: "Faith is trust--trust that God sees what we cannot and that He knows what we do not. The purpose of faith is not to change God's will but to empower us to act on God's will. In the end everything will make sense. Faith comes to the humble, the diligent, the enduring. It comes to those who pay the price of faithfulness."

I AM NOT REPAIRED.

I AM NEW.

The people who brand us with these flaming, burning, searing scarlet letters are hurt people.

Hurt people hurt people.

That's how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation.

Break the chain today.

Meet anger with sympathy,

contempt with compassion,

cruelty with kindness.

Greet grimaces with smiles.

Forgive and forget about finding fault.

Love is the weapon of the future.

"Let someone love you just the way you are--as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are "broken", out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room."

-Mark Hack

"You need to learn to let go of whatever it is that makes you think you're not good enough. Because that's how you're gonna beat this. When you learn that you matter."

-One Tree Hill

THIS: "Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway."

-Sade Andria Zabala

"God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there."

-Thomas S. Monson

"Dismiss whatever insults your own soul."

-Walt Whitman

"There is no statute of limitations on starting over. Re-invent yourself every day. Be the girl who walks barefoot and listens to the blues. Tomorrow, wear a trench coat and speak fierce truths. Be a phoenix. Be ashes. Burn down. Resurrect. Let go of the idea that you must always be who you have always been."

"Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud."

"Who you are is who you choose to be. Whispers behind your back don't define you. You are the one who gets to decide what you will be remembered for."

-TAYLOR SWIFT <3

 "You are good enough and God does care.

Love everyone. Including yourself.

Because when He thinks of you, He smiles.

Because you are OH SO beautiful in the eyes of God."

-Al Fox Carraway

 "The future holds everything for you."

-AFC

 "Isn't life the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?! It is enchanting and sad and lovely and breathtaking. It's what you make it. It's everything and more. I love life. I can't wait for the day when I find the right man to love and share it with."

-Me

THE BEST THING YOU CAN BE IS YOURSELF.

 "The happiest people I know are always evaluating and improving themselves. The unhappy people are usually evaluating and judging others."

 "It's really not good for your happiness or your state of mind to care so much about what people, who do not care about you, think about you."

-Taylor Swift

The only person who defines you is YOU.

How To Fall Out of Love with Love

let's take a better look... 

 beyond a story book

 and learn our souls are all we own

 before we turn to stone

 lets go to sleep with clearer heads

 and hearts too big to fit our beds and maybe we won't feel so alone

before we turn to stone

charley brooke

amazing[ly] [clueless] girl [full of] wonder

yes, i had a photoshoot of sorts today... 

It's been far too long, lovelies.

Let's talk...

This is me.

I want to be all inspiration-y 24/7, 365, forever-and-ever-and-ever, to infinity & beyond, don't we all?

If life was all sunshines, movie moments, perfect days, find our true love the instant we wish for him on birthday candles, at 11:11, or when our hearts ache for that person, that unknown soul wandering somewhere-who-knows-where, would be paradise. But that isn't how life works as, and I for one can testify to this time and again, much as we all desire for it to be that way. We just have to keep going even when the going is tough and you want to stop going because who knows where the next miracle, the next movie moment, the next wish come true will come from... or when? They happen, you know? 

I, also for one, can tell you that I am constantly thinking that I am the exception... that I am exempt from the good stuff, that my happily ever after is non existent and instead I am forced to be alone always and forever, watching everyone else (all of my friends, family, associates, strangers, everyone else BUT ME) live these perfect, happy, sunshine-y lives finding love, finding adventure, finding themselves, finding family... and me, stuck in this limbo state of nothingness, defective me... girl who is a boy repellant (apparently) and not ever good enough (or even close) no matter how hard she tries.

Trust me lovelies, NO ONE judges me, criticizes me, more than myself. So for all those who do out there, I can assure you that I do enough damage for everyone. Why though? Why am I not good enough? Why am I light years away from finding love or true happiness when it seems like everyone around me doesn't even have to try, they just get it without any effort? Why do I make people run, leave, race away and never look or come back to me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? And most of all, and this is the big one, WHY DO I WANT TO BE IN LOVE? 

I don't really know if there are answers to these questions. 

For any of you who have ever felt the way I feel, I know what you're going through but I also know you'll get through. You aren't the only one who is broken. It's only when we are broken that we can become built stronger, better than before. It's easy to feel like you're alone, destined for loneliness, despite the fact that there are 7+ billion people in this world. How commonplace it is to feel alone in crowded rooms. 

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

That being said, I believe that we are too hard on ourselves. We are too busy being worried about impression others and not making a fool of ourselves and miss out on the fun, the happiness. We shut ourselves out, build walls that can touch the stars around our hearts, and that's no way to live. No way to love. We all have something to give, and we should give until nothing is left, and even then keep giving, keep surviving, keep thriving, keep loving, keep laughing, keep working, keep inspiring, keep keeping on. 

You may feel like you're nothing new, but that isn't true. You are the only you there is. And I have to trust in my convictions and have faith that someone out there will appreciate and love every single part of me unconditionally, someone will do the same for you. First, to find someone you love, you've got to love yourself. Smile. Be kind to others. You create beauty with your attitude, your behavior, your actions. It's all up to you. Is what you are living for, worth dying for? Chances come briefly and out of nowhere and at times that may feel awkward or rushed, but take them! Because chances only come rarely and often not twice. Yes, they come with risks and are scary, but it's good to be afraid, it means you have something to lose... something worth losing. That's how we feel alive. 

I don't know about the rest of you lovelies, but I am not afraid of dying... I am not entirely fearless, I must admit... here's my biggest fear: the unlived life (not living life to the fullest). 

As the AMAZING, WONDERFUL, TALENTED, ARTIST, POET, EXTRAORDINAIRE Tyler Knott Gregson wrote, "It is only when we decide that 'ordinary' is an insult that we become the exquisite miracles we were born to be."

As for the title of this post: HOW TO FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH LOVE

I am not sure it's possible. 

I believe once you are in love with someone or something, truly in love, that it's impossible to fall out of love with it. 

After all, you should never give up on anything you can't go a day without thinking about. 

With Love,

C

Lucille Ball [I Love Lucy]

Happy 100^th B-DAY Lucille Ball 

August 6, 1911

In the words of Betty White, "No matter how many tears we cry today, the laughs will outnumber them." (on Lucy's death)

Yesterday, August 6, 1911, a girl from a small town in New York was born and like all other babies at the time... Her name was Lucille Ball, and she is and forever will be a star lighting up the entire world full of love and laughter. Her red hair gained her the nickname "Ball of Fire" and her fire will never go out. No television show in history has been as popular, long-lasting, unforgettable, captivating, and magical as "I Love Lucy". I Love Lucy is a place people constantly want to come home to. The cast members are people you would like to have as friends, or neighbors, or even landlords. It's all about love and fun and adventure and family--so simple yet magical.

Lucille Ball has been one of the most influential women in my lifetime (and millions of others). She inspires me endlessly. She had the strongest work ethic and followed all of her dreams. The words giving up were not in her vocabulary. It took her nearly 40 years to reach her true stardom with the show "I Love Lucy". This is proof that if you give your all, let no one bring you down, never give up, and work for it you can make your dreams come true. The best things in life will forever be worth the wait.

When I was a toddler, one of the first words I ever spoke was "Lucy". Even as a young child I could appreciate and laugh with Lucy and the gang. I talked about Lucy all the time to the point where my mom and dad started calling me Lucy! As I got  little older my love for Lucy increased. I had all sorts of Lucy memorabilia. My parents bought me books on Lucy, I Love Lucy stamps, the Lucy Barbie doll pictured above, and more. 

When I was 17, I dressed up as Lucy for Halloween. I still love Lucy and always will. As I grow up and work for my goals and dreams, there are times when life seems impossible and things get frustrating. Lucy may not be alive, however she is with me (and you) in spirit. She taught me that I can dream as big as my imagination desires, set the highest goals, and aspire to greatness. The best things don't come easy and it's never simple but always always always worth it. And when I am having a bad day, I can count on Lucy to cheer me up as I watch her do silly things with Ethel and get into messes with Desi, bringing me instant happiness and laughter.

Funny story... in the fifth grade at recess, I was going on about Lucy and Desi and what a cute couple they were. I remember telling my friends I thought it was neat that they were married in real life too. My friend Gabrielle informed me that Lucy and Desi got divorced after the show. I was stunned. I couldn't, wouldn't, didn't want to believe it. Needless to say, my heart ached at this idea that the perfect couple-Ricky and Lucy Ricardo-didn't live a fairy tale reality. 

I've read multiple biographies about Lucille, Desi, and I Love Lucy and am comforted and content with the divorce. Many people were outraged with it at the time. The truth is you don't know what goes on behind the scenes. It pleased me that Lucy and Desi remained close friends until their deaths. They changed this world for the better and will be remembered universally by people of all backgrounds, ages, cultures, etc. For this I am grateful.

I Lucy. I Love I Love Lucy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Lucy to infinity and beyond. 

I highly suggest the following books about Lucy, I Love Lucy, and Desi if you are a Lucy fanatic as I am.

*Ball of Fire: The Tumultuous Life & Comic Art of Lucille Ball by Stefan Kanfer

*Love, Lucy by Lucille Ball

*A Book by Desi Arnaz

*I Love Lucy by Elisabeth Edwards

Lucy-isms & Quotes

"Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead."

"Luck to me means hard-work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't."

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

"In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to find."

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."

"I'm not funny. What I am is brave."

"You have to love yourself first and then everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done."

"Ability is of little account without opportunity."

"It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."

"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done."

"The more things you do, the more you can do."

This is my absolute favorite episode of I Love Lucy. 

Vitameatvegamin

What is your all time favorite episode of Lucy? You got some 'splainin to do- Comment below! 

Babaloo!

You Are Beautiful

 This is me without makeup. All natural. It was difficult to decide to post this picture. I find it not at all flattering. I even would use the U word (ugly) to describe it. I admit at times I have self esteem issues, but I am working through them and this is the real me, and I am okay with it. I am original and unique as are you. I am exactly who I'm supposed to be.

This is me with makeup. I like getting made up every morning and it makes me feel more beautiful. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I consider getting ready, wearing makeup, and taking care of yourself a confidence booster and fun. Make up can be used to emphasize and bring out your natural beauty. I know inner beauty is what matters but getting dolled up helps you feel better about yourself. It’s all about being comfortable in your skin and feeling confident with or without makeup.  

  

Beauty is a noun that has a narrow meaning when defined by the dictionary. It is described as follow”: A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses especially the sight. A combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense. A beautiful or pleasing thing or person, in particular. The best feature or advantage of something. Synonyms of the word beauty include loveliness, good looking, attractive, pretty, fairness, gorgeous, charm, grace, and amazing to name a few. There is a lot of pressure from American society to be beautiful. It seems like who we are depends on how beautiful we are. We see beautiful people everywhere. When we open a magazine, we never see some 400-pound woman on the first page. Instead we see a woman who is 23 percent skinnier. As individuals we seem to buy into this concept. We strive to fit the description of beauty that society has set for us. We buy the right clothes and cosmetic products. Many of us work out obsessively, and others even develop eating disorders.

            There is a book called Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy. Lucy tells her life story from the time the acquired malignancy on her jaw, to the time she came to terms with her face never being the same again. Half of her jaw was removed at an early age due to cancer. With such an unusual shape of the face she comes across social problems each and every day, one being that no man will ever desire or feel attracted to her. Lucy says “’’’’’—Beauty, as defined by society at large, seemed to be only about who was best at looking like everyone else.” (Source—A study called What is Beauty)

            I believe EVERYONE is beautiful… but sometimes the things people do and say make them ugly. There is beauty all around you. Being different and unique is beauty. You have to believe in yourself or no one else will. Sometimes it’s a challenge… it’s a constant struggle everyday to try and be perfect, but there’s no need to be perfect. Just be perfectly perfect being you and find someone who loves every part of it. Even the prettiest people can have the ugliest personality which tends to be the case. Inner beauty is what matters. Love yourself. I love you and think you are all gorgeous. There are 6.5 plus billion definitions of beauty in reality.

            If you haven’t read the book Beastly go read my blog entry about it! It has such a wonderful message. There are amazing quotes on what beauty really means and how inner beauty is what counts. You are beautiful just the way you are. I also have a post with quotes from the lovely Audrey Hepburn which are all about true beauty and are wonderful. Check them out! Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. There may be some people who ridicule you and tease you and say you are ugly—that just makes them the ugly ones. There are a thousand more people out there who would say you are breathtakingly beautiful and stunning. Society has the most distorted image of beauty. No one is perfect… even the actresses, singers, and models gracing the TV, movies, and magazines. They are all digitally distorted into perfect. It’s a lie. I will cover that in another post.

            The point is YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. As a ball of fire I have admired since I was a little girl and a wonderful example of great woman aka Lucille Ball (from I Love Lucy) has said, “””You have to love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.  Everyone (even celebrities) have days where you doubt yourself and feel not good enough. Many mean people bully you and criticize you, but don’t listen. Kill them with kindness. The people who are mean need niceness the most. The most insecure people are the ones who feel the need to belittle others.

            All that matters is what YOU and YOUR LOVED ONES think. Never forget that! Love yourself and you will become lovable. Spread the love to others. I got the most wonderful, needed, and touching advice from a friend of mine’s dear mother who is a sweetheart. Her name is Amy HUmpherys and this was her advice to me All the good, fun, positive “Stuff in life comes from the inside! Put your attention on at least ONE good thing about yourself…I know you can think of at least ONE good thing about yourself sweetie! And the good feelings you get from that will expand into other areas of your life! I promise, it works! I know because I did it! Earlier this year, I put my attention on one thing about my body that I was ok with (1^st my eyes…then my hair…etc, etc) and it was transformational! I’ve now lost 30 lbs & am rockin a new young bod in this 44-yr-old thing I carry my spirit in. Some days are harder than others, but I promise you, you CAN change anything about yourself that you WANT to change! Because, as Wayne Dyer says, When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. You are fine just the way you are…LOVE yourself, and you will be as happy as you wann a be!”

          What incredible advice not only for me but each and every one of you lovelies. I promise following Amy’s words of wisdom will magnify your beauty and qualities you didn’t realize you had. You will be happier. Tell yourself you are beautiful and don’t let anyone bring you down. Life is beautiful and you are too! The definition of beautiful is YOU.

           

BEAUTY QUOTES

“No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.”

-Oscar Wilde

“It’s beauty that captures your attention—personality which captures your heart.”

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

-Confucius

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.”

-Helen Keller

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”

-Sophia Loren

“Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.”

-Charles Lamb

“Beauty is only skin deep. I think what’s really important is finding a balance of mind, body and spirit. Somebody said to me not too long ago, ‘Until you’re twenty, you have the face you are born with, and after that you have the face you deserve,’ and I really loved that—the idea that you wear who you are on your face.”

-Jennifer Lopez

“The most beautiful thing we experience is the mysterious.”

-Albert Einstein

“No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they’re pretty, even if they aren’t.”

-Marilyn Monroe

“Beauty comes from a life well lived. If you’ve lived well, your smile lines are in the right places, and your frown lines aren’t too bad, what more do you need?”

-Jennifer Garner

“Beauty’s a kind of radiance. People who possess a true inner beauty, their eyes are a little brighter, their skin a little more dewy. They vibrate at a different frequency.”
-Cameron Diaz

“True beauty lies deep within. No matter what you look like on the outside, if you are beautiful, nothing can change that.”

-Amy Davis

“Beauty is being in harmony with what you are.”

-Peter Nivio Zarlenga

“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”

-Oscar Wilde

“People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared look, including inside ourselves.”

-Selma Hayek

“When there’s so much beauty in the world sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid life.”

-American Beauty

“Beauty isn’t skin deep, it’s from the heart, body, mind, and soul.”

“See beauty without your eyes and you will know it’s truly genuine.”

“The real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confidence, and try to be secure in your thoughts and decisions.”

-Kirsten Dunst

“You wonder why I’m insecure? Because there are girls out there who look gorgeous without even trying. When they wake up they look like angels. When I wake up, I look like I just got out of a war. Those photogenic girls who look good in every photo. When someone takes a picture of me, my face looks ugly. They don’t even need to dress nicely and they still look be able to do that.”

“I don’t wanna be afraid. I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today.”

-Demi Lovato

“I like to tell people they’re beautiful, not because it’s good to hear and not because it makes me feel better about myself, but because everyone deserves to hear it every day.”

“You are the most beautiful thing in the world.”

-Alex Gaskarth

“Go for someone who is not only proud to have you, but will also take every risk to keep you.”

“Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are—and aren’t—that you will truly succeed.”

“I feel bad for girls sometimes. I think guys get it much easier as far as appearance judgment. Girls are judged so harshly for no reason.”

-Kingsly

“Don’t ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are.”

-Lady Gaga

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

-Judy Garland

“Love me or hate me. I promise it will never make or break me.”

-Tyra Banks

“Never dull your shine for somebody else.”

-Tyra Banks

“I think a girl is most attractive when wearing sweats and just being herself.”

-Taylor Lautner (aw how sweet! I love Taylor. More boys should follow his example…just saying.)

“Girls need the confidence to know they are whole, and that they can do anything just the way they are.”

-Christy Carlson Romano

“Just be confident in what you know for yourself. Because you will have pressures from all different types of people who will try to tell you that they know what’s better for you. And we all know, deep down inside, that inner voice…those dreams that we have that people are constantly telling us that we can’t achieve…we know what we can.”

-Jada Pinkett-Smith

“I think every year I became happier because I became more confident and more comfortable in my own skin.”

-Zooey Deschanel

“I have cellulite. I have stretch marks. I feel intimidated by Victoria’s Secret. Hollywood is one of those endless competitions, but it’s a race toward nothing. There’s no winning. You’re never going to win the pretty race. I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be.”

-Reese Witherspoon

“I think happiness is a choice. I believe luck is your attitude. It sounds like a really annoying bumper sticker. But there is such a great truth in that. You choose how you want to feel about what happens to you. I really believe when you peel away the layers, the world’s a beautiful place filled with beautiful people.”

-Drew Barrymore

“We all have horrible fears and insecurities that we need to overcome.”

-Leonardo Dicaprio

“It may sound cliché but when you feel beautiful and strong on the inside, it shows on the outside.”

-Angelina Jolie

“I think that we’re all sort of sick of being judged on how we look no matter if we’re too skinny. It seems that you can’t be just right anymore. You’re either too fat or too skinny or too old or too young too ethnic or too not, you know. You rarely go wow that girl’s just beautiful.”

-Kirstie Alley

"Beauty captures the eyes while personality captures the heart."