Alive Poets Society

I am more than anyone knows

None of the darkness around me can take me out

The brilliant, beautiful, blinding light that glows

inside of my heart displacing any doubt

When life gives you lemons, you. . .

I see love and my family in shades of white

Well why are you so blue?

We have to get down in these depths to appreciate the heights

I am worth it will always ring true

Who doesn't feel lonely once in a while whether it be lonely for a person, place, feeling, or thing? Sometimes we even feel alone in crowded rooms. Remember, the word alone has never lived inside the word lonely.

It's been a hell of a year for me [over a year]

A literal bit of hell

I didn't know how to bring back the heaven I built on Earth.

I felt surrounded by darkness that would be my constant and only companion.

People all around me tried to tell me that one day things would change. I would find the light again. I didn't want to listen though or more like I couldn't. When you're in the middle of grief it's like you're on another planet and nothing around you makes any sense. It's something you have to get through, push through, endure, fight. There is no shortcut and no way around it.

The light is inside of us.

I am the light.

You are the light.

We are the light.

We chase and search and claw for light like it's something we can find outside of us in someone else or in something. The reality is the light is inside of us all along. The problem is sometimes we let people dim our light to the point where we can't see it or feel it, but it's always there. Always. We are made of light. We have to nourish and feed that light. We can't neglect it. The best, beautiful secret is the more we share our light, the lighter and brighter it grows and glows.

One day, recently, I woke up and could breathe again. I began to not only like but love myself again. I realize I cannot change the past... nor do I want to. All I can change is myself. Now. This moment. I love me. Do I want to fall in love again and find my love story? I'd be a complete and utter liar if I told you anything but a resounding, roaring YES. I hope and pray that there's a man out there who will love and want me someday for forever. 

For now though, I'm surrendering and giving my heart to Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. They love me more than anyone. I am also surrounded by endless, unconditional love from my amazing-in-every-possible-unimaginable-magical way family and friends. And oh my goodness, how I love them all. In the words of my spirit animal Taylor Swift: "She lost him and found herself and somehow that was everything."

That is everything.

I SAVE ME.

(along with the Savior, of course)

I am ready

to take life in my hands (good&bad)

and make it beautiful and mine.

The Vow

"Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside them, and its much cheaper to buy somebody a book than it is to buy them the whole world."

-Neil Gaiman

"A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate. The one you can tell your dreams to. He'll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid eight dollars to see it. He'll call to say 'Good night' or just because he is missing you. He'll look in your eyes and tell you you're the most beautiful girl in the world. And for the first time in your life, you'll believe it."

-Nicholas Sparks

"Too often we pray for patience, but we want it right now."
-Robert D. Hales

"He who created the stars knows your name."
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"The people who matter will recognize who you are."
-Alan Cohen

"Too many people grow up.

That's the real trouble with the world,

too many people grow up.

They forget."

-Walt Disney

"The only way to be happy is to love. Unless you love, your life will flash by."

-Mrs. O'Brien

Caleb: "What's wrong?"

Hanna: "Ask me what's right if you want a shorter answer."
-Pretty Little Liars

"So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?" I tell him, "Real."

-Katniss, Mockingjay

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now and live in it forever."

-Peeta Mellark, Catching Fire

"Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that."

"One of the deepest secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others."

-Lewis Carroll

"We were together. I forget the rest."
-Walt Whitman

"What if all you lack

has always lived inside me

and in me alone?"

-Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

"Letting go isn't a one time thing, it's something you do everyday, over and over again."
-Dawson's Creek