Hiding My Heart (Worlds Apart)

I went missing.

Disappeared.

Did anyone notice?

I missed you.

Where did July go? 

It vanished with me, or maybe I became invisible in it.

Either way, I am back.

I have soooo much inspiration & stuff to share & talk about. 

I feel tired and uninspired at times.

And I wrote this last night...

I want to catch a break but I'm only breaking down. Breaking apart. Broken. Falling, falling, forever. Falling to pieces. Fading. Invisible. Disappearing. Gone. And no one notices or cares. It's an effortless mess, my SOS, calling out to deaf ears in distress. The girl (me, I) is hopeless. She's open for suggestions and directions. She can barely breathe. Countless questions.  Is she wonderful? Do you wonder about her? Or is it any wonder [her fate]? Full of wonder. Wondering. Waiting. Is it mere coincidence the fact that fate rhymes with wait, or is it something deeper? I'm getting weaker. And you, you, you. You. It ends with you, or more accurately begins with you. Always you. Only you. Perfect you. The one. Will you come slowly or run? She can be found if only you look. Find me. Save me. Embrace me. Press me to you. Hold me. Tighter. Never letting go, or you'd fall too. Strength in two becoming one. Learn me. Feel me. Catch me. Memorize me. Love me. I am yours forever. Irrevocably. Unconditionally. Enduring. Wishing. Hoping. Dreaming. Living. Flying. Breathing. Like stars crashing into each other at the speed of our hearts in a cold, dark light-years-length, infinite galaxy, transforming into one radiant, bright, shining star bursting, glowing, filling the sky, and each other, with warmth, light, and electricity. We are a star. You are my star. Guide me home.

Yeah it's kind of rough and inconsistent and a mess, but it was from the heart. That's what matters right?

Okay August had better be amazing for all of us lovelies. Lets make it so... no matter what. 

 "Entwined. All that we are is defined by each others shipwrecked hearts and I shiver to think what would have been if I wouldn't have seen you in time... would we we pass by? Like parachutes and air balloons or satellites and lonely moons. We'd still be drifting far apart but thank the stars we are entwined. All that you are is mine. Your divine imperfections color the dark, and I shiver to see how fragile you are when the world's such a cruel place to be. Then you cut me free. Lets walk the tightrope together without a safety net and when we fall, and we will fall, lets fall forever... entwined."

-Jason Reeves

 "Life is the most fragile, unstable, unpredictable thing there is."

-Meredith Grey

 "All anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone."

-Meredith Grey

 "The only time I don't feel like a ghost is when you look at me. You see me."

-Owen Hunt

 "Don't forget--no one else sees the world the way you do, so no one else can tell the stories that you have to tell."

-Charles de Lint

 "Some people say home is where you come from. But I think it's a place you need to find, like it's scattered and you pick pieces of it up along the way."

-Katie Kacvinsky

 "That's what love is. It's some power greater than you and me that draws us to one special person."

-Jodi PiCoult

 "You have to take chances in life to get anywhere worthwhile."

-Me

 "Our paths keep crossing

but never quite touch

You're so close I can almost feel you

Yet impossibly out of reach

When will our parallel paths

become only one?"

-Me

 "You don't love someone because they're perfect. You love them in spite of the fact that they're not. Because they are perfect in your eyes."

 "Every now and then something amazing happens and best case scenarios seem possible. And against our better judgment, we start to have hope."

-Meredith Grey

"Sometimes the only way to catch your breath is to lose it completely."

-Tyler Knott Gregson

 Brie & CiCi on the 4th of July!

"You only make a once in a lifetime friend... once in a lifetime!"

-The Little Rascals

Have an amazing day lovelies... always remember that someone is (or will be) lucky to have you.

With love,

Charley Brooke

Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response

Lately, I wonder if I disappeared, vanished out into thin air, went missing, would anyone notice?

Would anyone care?

Would it make a difference in anyone's life?

Would I be missed?

Who would come searching for me?

Would people say they missed me? I don't think they'd mean it... most of them... because if they did, why didn't they try to talk to me, be with me, when I was there?

How is it possible to feel so alone when there are 7 billion people in the world, but then again, how do you stand out, be one in a billion? 

When asked if you could have any super power, what would it be? many people say they would want invisibility. I feel like I am invisible. Trust me, it's not all it's built up to be. People look through me, not at me. I am not seen. I sometimes feel as if I am fading away. I miss being a kid. When you didn't have to be anything but yourself and everyone loved it... loved you. I am easy to look at but so so so hard to see.

I am too fragile. I am trapped in glass and I want to break out and breathe deep but I'm too afraid that it will hurt.

I want someone to break me out. I want to be rescued by my prince charming or knight-in-shining-whatever. I want Romeo to save me. I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come.

I think waiting is a little heartbreaking... your heart feels like it's going to shatter because it's bursting, nearly overflowing with love for this person you are waiting to give it to... and when they don't come, you wait wait wait and wonder if it's too late... your heart starts to break a little because it's much too much. When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters or a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world. But it's silent and you almost wish there was noise to distract you from the pain.

I love love & that is unfortunate. Ever notice how sometimes you want something so badly that it will always evade you? That is how love is for me. I wonder if I will ever get my love story... Some days I just want to rip my heart out of me because it is overflowing with love that won't fit in me alone. I'm not sure why I have so much love in my heart. Why not I suppose? Why doesn't everyone? If people focused on loving a bit more, maybe the allocation of our energies would be a lot more productive and peaceful. Where do I get all of the love? It's inside of me. I think we have a choice every moment to be, do, think, say whatever we wish... why not choose love instead of all the other stuff we waste our time with? Love is everything. My downfall is my stupid hopeless romantic heart and blind optimism and believes in fate, magic, and fairytales mentality... I'm basically setting myself up for heartbreak, and there is nothing I can do about it unless a miracle occurs in the form of a boy who proves to me all of it is real and gives me a love story better than the movies. To me, true love is the sweetest thing in life. That's why we're all either in love or looking for love. Sometimes you have to work for it, take chances--especially when life gets in the way--but I believe true, deep love is always worth fighting for.

What I mean is best summed up in a quote from, you guessed it, Grey's Anatomy: "Too often the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be: The people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want."

I don't want to disappear. I want to be FOUND.

I will be strong lovelies.

I love the new Facebook timeline. I was going back looking at all the things I said, the quotes I posted, and they made me feel better. The things about staying strong, being happy, goals, fighting for your dreams... it's all true. That's why I do this. I write on this silly blog my silly thoughts and share the lovely thoughts of others in the hopes that when you are having hard times, doubts, and insecurity, you can read them, read this, know you belong to this nation of inspiration. You are not alone. Words can heal. If even one person feels better after reading something on this blog, it's all worth it to me.

Stay strong and always believing. 

I know I can't be the only one who feels this emptiness... who feels like they are disappearing... who feels like they are drowning on dry land. I notice you. Struggles give us strength. 

It's my faith in something greater than myself that enables me to do what I have to do, to press forward even though I am tired, hurt, and afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.

I have to bring my own light, not let the fire in me die out, to the darkness. My heart is on fire and no one can put that out.

Grey's Season 8--Bring Izzie (Katherine Heigl) Back

TEAM IZZIE Season 8

My excitement for Grey's Anatomy Season 8 is something I cannot express in words. 

I LOVE Grey's Anatomy (if you are a lovely who follows my blog you are aware of this)!

Everyone I know was devastated and upset to see Katherine Heigl's abrupt departure from the show. There's no question that Grey's isn't and can't be the same without Izzie. She brought something to the show that no one else could. There is a void in our hearts (and Alex's) that only Izzie can fill. I don't think she had a proper farewell. Many fans stopped watching Grey's after she left.

I still love and watch Grey's. I understand Katherine quit because she wanted to spend time with her family. I think it's admirable and agree with her that she puts family before work. I wish with all of my heart that Izzie would come back. Season 8 is rumored to be the last season of Grey's. One voice alone may not be able to be heard by Katherine & Grey's, but we Grey's An-addict unite and speak together, we can make our voices heard! We want Izzie back. Season 8 could be phenomenal and extraordinary if Izzie came back, even for just one episode.

Alex Karev deserves love. Izzie is who he is meant to be with. She is and always will be his true love--this goes for fans too. Anything is possible. Walt Disney (Disney is part of ABC) said himself, "If you can dream it, you can do it." Lets turn our dream into reality! I know we can do it if we try and never give up. Go to the Facebook page I made-- 1 Million Likes To Get Izzie (Katherine Heigl) Back On Grey's and like it! Spread the word! One spark starts a fire. It takes one to start a chain reaction. Keep the fire in our hearts that Izzie will come back spreading until it's as bright as the stars we wish for Izzie to come back on and we can be seen and heard!
On August 22, 2010, Shonda Rhimes told Michael Ausiello that finding closure for Alex as one of her top priorities for season 7. Not only did this not happen, but there can never be closure for him given that Izzie is the only one for him. I believe Rachael Taylor is a fantastic actress, but Lucy was a sad choice--too unlikable, unfamiliar, and just not Izzie.
Katherine Heigl had this to say regarding her departure in season 6: "You wish you could have it all exactly the same way. But that's not life... I had to try and find the courage to move on."
When being asked in an interview if she would come back to the show for at least one episode, she answered "I'd love to come back in and out some point. I don't know [if it's possible to go back on the show] I'd like to. I'll give Shonda a call, 'Hey do you need any idea? I got one.'"
I (@TheUSAPrincess) asked Shonda the following question on Twitter, here is her Tweet to me.

shondarhimes shonda rhimes 

I hope so! RT @TheUSAPrincess You never have answered, will Alex Karev finally find true love?

8 Aug Unfavorite Undo Retweet Reply

.

 “I’m open to seeing Izzie again, so if [Katherine] were to come back, we would be thrilled to [wrap up her story]." Shonda told EW in 2010.

Justin Chambers wants Katherine to come back and agrees Izzie was the one, irreplaceable. He expressed his feelings on the matter recently, "There's only one woman for Alex, and her name's Izzie. They were the real deal, or as much as a real deal can be on Grey's Anatomy. That was the love of his life. I would love to see Katherine Heigl return to give their storyline closure. Heigl is so fun, she is one of the funniest people I've ever worked with. She really is a special gal. I would love to have her back. Maybe we will someday."

Lovelies, Grey's An-addicts, fans, and everyone, Grey's isn't just a TV show, it's a part of our lives. We have fallen in love with Meredith, Izzie, George, Arizona, Burke, Cristina, Owen, and the rest. Never has a show touched my heart so deeply. The truth remains though that without all of us fans, Grey's wouldn't exist. The fans are what matter most. We may be just ordinary people but together we can be extraordinary and bring our favorite character back! That could end the Grey's series finale with fireworks shining brightly instead of it fading away.

For the past seven years, Grey's has taught us:

 To fight for our dreams no  matter how hopeless it seems because things in life aren't free.

To wish for the big things because they just might come true. 

To push ourselves and be relentless.

To stick to our guns, if you want something bad enough, if you're determined enough, if you're patient enough, eventually it will happen.

To hope.

To believe in love, magic, and miracles.

To ignore the odds against us and fight.

That is exactly what I am proposing. Lets follow the lessons Grey's has taught us. Lets bring Izzie back. Clearly Shonda, Justin, and Katherine are up for it (and I know the rest of the cast would be overjoyed for Izzie's return). Have hope lovelies. We're going make the impossible (to a majority of people) possible. Once again, go to this link One Million For Izzie's Return

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given, then to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing…

You Know You're A Grey's Anatomy Fan When

You Know You're A Grey's Anatomy Fan When:

1. You use the word 'seriously' more often than not. Seriously? Seriously! SERIOUSLY?!

2. You consider Seattle Grace Mercy West a real place. 

3. You never think twice about what you're doing on Thursday nights.

4. You own every song that's ever been played during the show.

5. You've started to give people Mc-Nicknames.

6. You count down the days until the new seasons premieres.

7. You feel like you could become a doctor from all the medical info you learned from the show.

8. You are currently waiting for your 'knight in shining whatever'.

9. You will never look at a ferry boat the same way again.

10. You go to the hospital and are disappointed when McDreamy doesn't walk in the room.

11. You shutter when you hear the name Gary Clark.

12. You can recite monologues better than Ellen Pompeo herself.

13. You find yourself asking people: "Pig or cow?"

14. You wish you had an Anatomy Jane doll growing up.

15. You call your best friend your "person".

16. You hear Arizona and think of the Peds surgeon not the state.

17. You refer to children as "tiny humans".

18. You cried when George O' Malley died.

19. You wonder why real surgeons don't look like the surgeons at Seattle Grace.

20. You get the dark and twisties every once in a while.

21. You find yourself asking: "What Would Bailey Do?"

22. You class surprise parties as hostile.

23. You hated April in the beginning, but now you kinda have to love her.

24. You know you never say "It's a slow day in the pit."

25. You know never to look at Bailey's va-jay-jay.

26. You wish you were roommates with Izzie, George, and Meredith.

27. Your fear of elevators has nothing to do with elevators.

28. You now know what not to do when disarming a bomb from somebody's body cavity.

29. You are seriously thinking of naming your future kid after a Grey's Anatomy surgeon.

30. You lie on the bathroom floor when you're depressed.

31. You turn off your phone during the show so no one bothers you.

32. You never want to be known as 007.

33. You dance out your problems.

34. Izzie was and always will be your favorite character.

35. You can name each cast member, past and present, their character names, and their story.

36. You refer to smiley people as "bright and shiny".

37. Thursday becomes your favorite day of the week.

38. Shonda Rhimes is your best friend and your worst enemy,

39. The word "ass" is your go to insult.

40. Singing "Like A Virgin" helps you blow off steam.

41. You know that the five second rule doesn't just apply to food.

42. You wish you and your friends could hang out at Joe's Bar.

43. You have moments where you can "see the leaves".

44.You hate when McDreamy is being a McAss.

45. You got a scrub shirt to wear when you watch Grey's.

46. You get emotional every time you hear "Chasing Cars" on the radio.

47. You qualify "heavy drinkers" as people who drink Meredith Grey amounts of tequila.

48. You fight with other fans over whether classic or new Grey's Anatomy is better.

49. You've watched all the seasons more than once.

50. You want a sparkle pager like Meredith.

51. You want to slide down Owen and Cristina's file pole.

52. You  go crazy during each hiatus.

53. The thought of the show ending makes you cry like a baby.

54. You want an elevator make out session.

55. You want an "Alex Karev" kind of kiss.
56. You want a pair of heelys just because Arizona had them.
57. You just want Alex Karev to have a happy ending.
58. You can't wait to see April as Chief Resident.
59. Standing on air vents helps you relax.
60. The world LVAD makes you cringe.
61. You are still trying to figure out how McDreamy's hair stays so perfect in Seattle where it always rains.
62. You have Bailey's five rules memorized.
63. Kevin McKidd's Twitter is your best friend right now.

My Alex Karev T-shirt I wear every Thursday :)

 My Grey's calender by my safety stick haha.

Like Izzie lying on the bathroom floor.

Those of you suffering from Post Grey's Depression--feelings of sadness, not knowing what to do with your life and pain your heart until the next season returns, As a fellow Grey's An-addict I thought this list was cute and so true. 

Grey's Anatomy Season 8 Premiere- Thursday September 22. It will be a two-hour episode called Free Falling

Private Practice Season 5 Premiere- Thursday September 29

Lovelies if you can think of more things to add to the list feel free to comment below! I'd love to hear your ideas.