"For last year's words belong to last year's language (and last journal's pages) [the past]. And next year's words (and the blank pages and spaces of this journal) await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."
-T.S. Eliot & C.B. Chriswell (me)
Tuesday October 10, 2017
My name is Charley. I was just an ordinary girl in a small city in Idaho (Pocatello) that you have never heard of. [Trust me, you aren't missing much]. It was in this city I was born and raised there until July 2016 when Utah became my new residence. Pocatello isn't home to me... at least not anymore.
Yes this is the story, my story, of an ordinary in seemingly every way until everything changed and became extraordinary in the form of life altering, heavenly, life saving miracles. I lost my way. I lost trust. I lost myself. I lost the first boy I ever loved ten years ago. I lost my husband. I lost my determination, hope, goals, dreams, freedom, happiness, and nearly lost my mind.
BUT I [painfully, impossibly, through loneliness, prayer, faith, treatment, girls and guys I met in treatment, endurance, the gospel, the Atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ, love, repentance, therapy, and my closest family and friends] FOUND MYSELF, was rebuilt stronger, GREW, became closer to Heavenly Father and the Savior, never gave up, chose resilience, inspired others, shared my story, rose above the pain of the past- the so called "baggage" and abuse and low self esteem, lived by love, and badass princessed, and that was EVERYTHING (and oh-so-much more!)
God is good, the Atonement is perfect, forgiveness and unconditional love are the point, and I am becoming stronger and better with each passing second. I am a badass princess--The USA Princess: Princess Charley Brooke of the USA after all 🙂
Even when you feel invisible and death is tempting you because you want to die and end it all, commit suicide, to end your silent but real pain, you have to remember how far you've come and the glorious, limitless future that awaits you. Oh my goodness, life is beautiful and the world wouldn't be the same if you didn't exist. You are probably thinking who is this cheery princess girl to tell me this bright and shiny nonsense? What does she know? Please take it from me, the girl who tried to commit suicide countless times. My last attempt being Thursday June 23, 2016. I was 25 years young. I shot myself (twice--the gun recoiled) and DIED right when I arrived by ambulance to the hospital. People say I was lucky. No, it was a miracle. Miraculously, I was saved. A group of talents surgeons worked for 72 minutes to bring me back to life and saved my life. I was given a second chance. Sadly, not everyone has the same happy ending.
I'm FAR from perfect, but I am striving, trying, thriving, and in it with my whole heart.
I survived for a reason. It wasn't my time to die.
We can make our own heaven on Earth.
C H O O S E H A P P Y
"To me, a rich and satisfying life means one full of contrast. Give me sleep ins. And soft rains. Relaxing conversation. But also adrenaline and adventure. And dancing under the stars. I am determined to embrace this extravagant life for all that it has to offer."
-Beau Taplin//A Disparate Life
"I promise you sweet soul with stars in your eyes, you were put here with a purpose."
Lovelies, I hope twenty nineteen is as wonderful to you as it has been to me. I've been making life
happen instead of letting it pass me by and happen to me. I am doing better than I ever was to quote Taylor Alison Swift.
Feel free to follow me on the Gram
Charley's IG: @theusaprincess
My Taylor Swift Fan IG: @idabotaylorswift (for my fellow #swifties out there!)
I love you. You're beautiful every little piece of you. Loveliest ever.
I am so wonderstruck to be back Nation! Writing and blogging again. I have missed it and you 💛
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