To The Stars (TITANIC)

Titanic.

I never got to see it originally in 1997, but I was able to experience it's anniversary in 2012 and watch it in 3D.

Okay I am a little, who am I kidding A LOT, obsessed with this movie.

I feel like it has relevance in my life at this current time.

I admit to you that lately, I watch it EVERY single night as I fall asleep. I swear I have it memorized but it still mesmerizes me entirely. It pulls at my heart and never lets go.

I own hundreds of movies and TV shows, but I still am always drawn to Titanic.

Being mcquote (and loving quotes) I have to share some of my favorite quotes from the movie.

Rose: "I love you, Jack."

Jack: "Don't you do that, don't say your goodbyes. Not yet, do you understand me?"

Rose: "I'm so cold."

Jack: "Listen Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?"

Rose: "I can't feel my body."

Jack: "Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... It brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise."

Rose: "I promise."

Jack: "Never let go."

Jack: "Well, yes, ma'am, I do... I mean I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count."


Rose: "A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets."

Rose: "Hello Jack. I changed my mind. They said you might be out here."

Jack "Shhh. Gimme your hand. Now close your eyes, go on. Now step up. Now hold on to the railing. Keep your eyes closed, don't peek."

Rose: "I'm not."

Jack: "Step up on the railing. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed. Do you trust me?"

Rose: "I trust you."

[Jack opens Rose's arms]

Jack: "All right. Open your eyes."

Rose: [gasp] "I'm flying, Jack!"

[Jack starts singing]

Jack: "Come, Josephine, in my flying machine, going up, she goes up, up she goes."

[they kiss]

Rose: "He saved me... in every way a person can be saved."

Jack: "Don't do it."

Rose: "Stay back! Don't come any closer!"

Jack: "Come on, just give me your hand. I'll pull you back over."

Rose: "No, stay where you are! I mean it! I'll let go!"

Jack: "No, you won't."

Rose: "What do you mean, "No, I won't"? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do, you don't know me!"

Jack: "Well, you woulda done it already."

Rose: "You're distracting me! Go away!"

Jack: "I can't. I'm involved now. You let go, and I'm, I'm 'onna have to jump in there after you."

Rose: "Don't be absurd. You'd be killed!"

Jack: "I'm a good swimmer."

Rose: "The fall alone would kill you."

Jack: "It would hurt. I'm not saying it wouldn't. Tell you the truth, I'm a lot more concerned about that water being so cold."

[pause. She looks down at the water. Jack is slowly removing his boots]

Rose: "How cold?"

Jack: "Freezing. Maybe a couple degrees over. You ever, uh, you ever been to Wisconsin?"

Rose: "What?"

Jack: "Well, they have some of the coldest winters around. I grew up there, near Chippewa Falls. I remember when I was a kid, me and my father, we went ice fishing out on Lake Wissota. Ice fishing is, you know, where you..."

Rose: "I know what ice fishing is!"

Jack: "Sorry. You just seem like, you know, kind of an indoor girl. Anyway, I, uh, I fell through some thin ice; and I'm telling you, water that cold, like right down there..."

[He gestures with his chin down toward the Atlantic Ocean]

Jack: "... it hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breathe. You can't think. At least, not about anything but the pain. Which is why I'm not looking forward to jumping in there after you."

[They exchange glances]

Jack: "Like I said, I don't have a choice. I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the railing, an' get me off the hook here."

Rose: "You're crazy."

Jack: "That's what everybody says but, with all due respect, Miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship here. Come on. C'mon, give me your hand. You don't want to do this."

[She reaches her hand back, he reaches his forward, and he helps her back onto the deck]

Jack: "Whew! I'm Jack Dawson."

Rose: "Rose De Witt Bukater."

Jack: "I'm gonna have to get you to write that one down."

Cal Hockley: "Where are you going? To him? To be a whore to a gutter rat?"

Rose: "I'd rather be his whore than your wife."

Rose: "Fifteen-hundred people went into the sea, when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby... and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Six... out of fifteen-hundred. Afterward, the seven-hundred people in the boats had nothing to do but wait... wait to die... wait to live... wait for an absolution... that would never come."

Rose: "It's so unfair."

Ruth: "Of course it's unfair. We're women. Our choices are never easy."

Rose: "I know what you must be thinking. "Poor little rich girl, what does she know about misery?"

Jack: "No, no, that's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, what could've happened to this girl to make her think she had no way out."

Jack: "Rose, you're no picnic, all right? You're a spoiled little brat, even, but under that, you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that I've ever known..."

Rose: "Jack, I..."

Jack:  "No, let me try and get this out. You're ama- I'm not an idiot, I know how the world works. I've got ten bucks in my pocket, I have no-nothing to offer you and I know that. I understand. But I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump remember? I can't turn away without knowing you'll be all right... That's all that I want."

Rose: "Well, I'm fine... I'll be fine... really."

Jack: "Really? I don't think so. They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but... sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose... that fire's gonna burn out..."

Rose: "It's not up to you to save me, Jack."

Jack: "You're right... only you can do that."

Jack: "Where to, Miss?"

Rose: "To the stars."

Rose: "I don't know the steps!"

Jack: "Neither do I! Just go with it."

The two most pivotal and heart wrenchingly breathtaking scenes to me are when Rose makes the observation:

"I saw my whole life as if I'd already lived it. Always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. I felt like I was standing at a great precipice, with no one to pull me back, no one who cared... or even noticed. It was my whole life and everyone around me. And all the while I felt like I was standing in a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looked up."

I know what that feels like constantly. To feel so trapped and alone. To feel like no one cares. To feel so out of control you see no way out. Isn't Rose lucky to have Jack Dawson?! I think we all need someone to anchor us and remind us that we can control our lives. We must take chances. We have to choose our destiny. All of those around us... family, friends, strangers, etc want to control us. It can be suffocating. You can be screaming and crying out to deaf ears. To people who are so selfish. 

Every has agendas. You have to do what's right for you. If not, you'll be miserable and end up like Rose. Only, unfortunately, life is not like the movies. Jack isn't going to step out of the shadows and rescue you. It's heartbreaking but true. Only you can save you. Make decisions for yourself. Live by love. Money isn't everything. I love the fact that Rose chooses Jack who has nothing over Cal and all the riches in the world. That beautiful, stunning diamond blue heart necklace just weighs her down. It's meaningless.

When you die, you can't take your "treasures and money" with you. You take your love. You take your actions. You take who you are. That's what matters. The love you have inside you and the love you share. Always remember that. Always.

MY FAVORITE TITANIC SCENE

My goodness. It's SO tough to choose the best scene in this movie, but this is my f a v o r i t e. The love that is expressed in this scene. The selflessness. The hope. The "I'd give anything for you". It just makes me cry. This love is true. They both would risk their lives for love. They'd do ANYTHING for each other. That's the kind of love I want. That's the kind of love people deserve.

I apologize for the terrible quality of this video. It's the best one I could find! 

[Rose jumps from the saving boat and goes to where Jack is]

Jack: "Rose! You're so stupid. Why did you do that, huh? You're so stupid, Rose. Why did you do that? Why?"

Rose: "You jump, I jump, right?"

Jack: "Right."

Rose: "Oh God! I couldn't go. I couldn't go, Jack."

Jack: "It's all right. We'll think of something."

 Rose: "At least I'm with you."

At least I'm with you.

You jump, I jump.

Those statements speak for themselves.

Love means you'd rather die than hurt the other person.

Love means you'd do anything for them.

I love that Rose and Jack are like that.

TITANIC Shooting Star Deleted Scene :) Love it.

Rose: "Staring up at the sky, Look. It's so beautiful. SO vast and endless. They're so small. My crowd, they think they're giants. They're not even dust in Gods eyes."

Jack: "Well, there's been a mistake. You're not one of them. You got mailed to the wrong address."

Rose: "Laughs, I did, didn't I? LOOK, a shooting star!"

Jack: "It was a long one. You know, my Pop's used to tell me, every time he saw one, it was a soul going to heaven."

Rose: "I like that. Are we supposed to wish on it?"

Jack: "Why? What would you wish for?"

Rose: "Something I can't have."

[THIS CONVERSATION IS FROM A DELETED SCENE]

TITANIC Deleted Scene (I don't know why they deleted it. I love it. They're just kissing. It's romantic.)

TITANIC is amazing.

It's my favorite.

You probably have watched it, but if you haven't, watch it again... and again.

If you haven't, seriously go watch it.

You won't regret it...

Live by Love, Lovelies,

C

A Little More Love & Dr. Oz

My story could fill a novel.

Letter after letter... all 26 of them.

Page after page.

Book after book.

If I were a full time blogger, I could tell you everything...

However, time is limited as I'm sure it is for almost everyone on this planet.

I want to tell you a little more I forgot to mention in my post yesterday. Here goes!

Once upon a time, I was a miserable girl.

I tried to inspire others to make myself happy.

I find happiness in making others happy.

I was in so much pain.

Starting in 2011, it just shot through me like a thousand bullets.

Now what I am about to tell you is not to complain.

I have never once felt sorry for myself in regards to the adversity and trials I've faced... nor for the pain and mysterious disease (which we'd later after much trial and error would find out was endometriosis).

I had the worst pain ever. It was constant. All the time. So bad.

I wanted to just cry and scream because that's how horrific the pain was. I felt at times like I was going to die. I knew with all of me that something was wrong. Very WRONG (and if you read my previous blog post, you'll find I was very RIGHT). I didn't have a clue on what to do. I saw doctor after doctor after doctor to no avail. They seemed clueless, careless, and lacking the knowledge and tools to make proper diagnosis's.

I wished that Dr. House (from the TV show House) was my doctor because then I'd have answers and could fix it. 

That was wishful thinking and until my miracle came, I knew I would just have to tough it out. I would have to ride through the pain. It sounds depressing. However, it was a learning period. I grew stronger than ever before. I kept hope. I knew that God wouldn't put me through any trial I couldn't handle. He will push us to the edge of our breaking points, but never over and is always there for us.

Many of you have probably seen or heard of The Dr. Oz Show.

One random day in April 2011, I decided to do some research on his website. 

There was a segment that would soon film called "Dr. Oz Ultimate Question".

I made the choice to ask him about my ailment. I mentioned my story with the pelvis pain. The pain which prevented me from living a normal life that a 21 year old girl should like. Instead, I was kept in bed most of the time living the life of a 81 year old. I said I wanted help and didn't know what to do because the doctors in my city couldn't figure it out or didn't care. I asked what to do about it since the doctors would all tell me I was too young to have any pelvis or gynocological problems at my age.

Honestly, I didn't think much of it or that I would hear back. OH! I was incredibly wrong! I was surprised when the very next day, my mom came home from work and said the senior executives from the show had called her twice and wanted me to call them ASAP. I was in shock. I was nervous to call them back because it felt so surreal. Yet it was exciting.

That girl who had to spend all of her life indoors trapped like Cinderella or Rapunzel might finally have reason to hope. 

I called the producers and told them my story. 

They were very optimistic and interested in my story. 

We talked for almost an hour. I thought things went wonderful and that this was going somewhere.

They discussed all the details about how they would fly me and one guest to New York City and pay for a hotel so I could be on the show.

At the conclusion of the conversation, the producers told me they would be in contact with me soon about the final decision.

Days went by and I was anxiously awaiting a phone call from the people at the show with their decision as to whether or not I would be on the show which was to film on May 31, 2011.

I sent them an e-mail with information and pictures of my mom and I that they wanted on May 11th. Then they called me on Thursday asking questions for more information about me and my situation. It sounded promising. The man I talked to said he'd be calling me in the next few days. 

All the waiting was driving me crazy because waiting was one of my least favorite things in the world.

I was trying desperately to stay positive. I expected the worst while hoping and dreaming for the best. This would be an incredible opportunity in numerous ways. It could be my only chance to get the best medical help possible, answer my questions, and solve my crazy health mystery. 

I prayed everything would work out. I would be absolutely devastated if I was turned down. After all, there was nothing worse at the time than thinking I had a chance when I really didn't. 

I knew I would cry if I was turned down... uncontrollably. Then again, I would likely cry with tears of joy if I got to be on the show! 

I began to place the idea in my head that no news was good news. 

I hoped.

My pain was becoming more intense, and I couldn't take the not knowing because it has always been one of the worst feelings to me.

Time passed as it does with every unstoppable second and there was still no word from Dr. Oz Land yet. 

I was still waiting, waiting, waiting.

I figured if I got turned down it would be because I lived too far away--on the opposite side of the country! Haha the man I spoke with had no idea where Pocatello, Idaho was! 

Still nothing on Saturday May 21, 2011, I wrote the following journal entry...

"Do I turn left where nothing is right? Or do I turn right where nothing is left? If your presence doesn't make any difference, your absence won't either, right? Sometimes what holds you together and tears you apart are the same thing. I am deciding to live life so completely that when death comes to me like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for him to steal. Sometimes there are no time outs, no second chances, it's now or never. Most people don't know who they are that's why they lie. They're afraid someone will figure it out before they do. What we do in life echoes in eternity. I think love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurtles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it's destination full of hope. Our lives are defined by moments, especially the ones we never see coming."

Days later and still no word from Dr. Oz/staff. I assumed it was a no go. I knew it then. I didn't know why I expected differently. I was frustrated that they promised to call back one way or another and didn't. I found it to be entirely unprofessional. I don't care how famous you are, you don't treat people like that, like they don't matter or aren't worth your time. I love the quote by Natalie Portman, "The minute you think you are better than someone else is the minute you need to be slapped in the face." Kindness should be born inside of us like an organ as vital as blood or oxygen. How much better would the world be if kindness was abound?

Unfortunately, it isn't a reality.

That wouldn't stop me from being kind though... from having hope... from enduring. We can choose to be bitter and miserable since life isn't always fair and bad things happen and we don't always get what we want, or we can choose to be happy and savor gratefully the blessings we have which are countless and surround us.

May 31st came and went and I never received a phone call or e-mail from the show. I was not on the Dr. Oz show.

I won't deny the hurt I felt. It was crushing but I had a feeling all would be well.

Everything happens for a reason. 

I made the decision to try and live a life with the pain no matter how limited that life would be.

I went on a cruise with my family in summer 2011... hurting but hopeful.

I found strength in words of others such as:

"Pain is a gauge of the healing process. It often teaches us patience. Perhaps this is why we use the term patient in referring to the sick. Opposition is part of Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father's love and of our need for the Savior's help. During His mortal life Christ chose to experience pains and afflictions in order to understand us. Perhaps we also need to experience the depths of mortality in order to understand Him and our eternal purposes."

-Elder Kent F. Richards

How lovely is that? We wouldn't know good without the bad. 

We wouldn't know pain without pleasure.

I knew I could make it through. Patience was a lesson I had to learn even if it was one of the hardest things I ever did. Learning to be patient has changed my life for the better. I now know the best things in life are worth the wait. Nothing worthwhile is EVER easy, but ALWAYS worth it.

I made the choice to be happy and see this as a mountain I could overcome. It's funny how when you aren't looking life can show you a better view. Mine did. You can't be happy unless you're unhappy sometimes. It hurts like you wouldn't believe to deal with the rough times, but once the sweet moments of heaven on earth come your way, all of the pain you suffered is forgotten. The sweetness overpowers the bitter completely. I decided that no matter what direction life took I would never stop giving thanks for being alive and living. For being me.

"No matter how upside down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: life is crazily in love with us-wildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need when we need it when the time is right."

-Rob Brezny

We never know what will happen, but I believe that good things happen even when bad things happen. What could you not accept if you knew that all things are planned by the one who has your best interests in mind? 

All my life this Haiku by the AMAZING Tyler Knott Gregson held true.

"There are holes in me

pieces I was born without

You are all I lack"

I had faith that I would find my prince. That I would find answers. That I would no longer be this broken girl. I would be whole.

The answer to finding love is letting it find you.

Don't worry and waste your time searching, love will come to you when the time is right and God will give you the best love story, better than you could ever imagine.

I found my Ryan at the perfect time.

The exact time.

I stopped looking and then he came.

We found each other.

I will tell you over and over again that there is nothing better than love.

Now to a few stories I adore.

My momzy (Angie) and I (her oldest daughter).

Momzy is hilarious.

Lets talk about irony.

The day before Ryan started talking to me on Facebook and the beginning of forever began for us, I was living at my parents' home. My mom bought me a book about how to be happy and content being single in life... Haha little did she know I'd be married within five months and meet my future husband the following day. Silly momzy. I love that story. She always wanted the best for me but thought my standards were too high. Let me tell you this: NEVER lower your standards for anyone. You will find what you are looking for and who. Don't settle. There are 7 billion people in this world and one is out there who is perfect for you.

Last cutesy story of tonight:

In April when Ryan I were engaged, he would come visit me every single night or day.

Aww I felt so bad one night. He came over and we watched House and I fell asleep in his warm arms and he scooped me up in them and carried me to my bed and tucked me in since I was so tired and exhausted. I love that boy (husband) of mine! How did I get so lucky?

"Love knows no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope, it can out last anything. Love stands still when all else has fallen."

<W/L3 Charley Brooke Syndergaard

Are You True?