Saturday, March 10, 2018

The Trick To Holding On

The Trick To Holding On
-by Taylor Swift
[the American Queen to my American Princess]
Let go of the ones who hurt you
Let go of the ones you outgrow
Let go of the words they hurt your way
as you're walking out the door
The only thing cut and dry
In this hedge-maze life
Is the fact that their words will cut
but your tears will dry
They don't tell you this when you are young
You can't hold onto everything
Can't show up for everyone
You pick your poison
Or your cure
Phone numbers you know by heart
And the ones you don't answer anymore
Hold onto the faint recognition in
the eye of a stranger
As it catches you in its lustrous net
How quickly we become entwined
How wonderful it is to forget
All the times your intuition failed you
But it hasn't killed you yet
Hold on to childish whims and moonlight
Swims and your blazing self-respect
And if you drive the roads of this town
Ones you've gone down so many times before
Flashback to all the times
Life nearly ran you off the road
But tonight your hand is steady 
Suddenly you'll know
The trick to holding on
was all that letting go.







Monday, January 29, 2018

Beauty in the Breakdown









The dictionary and society define the word beautiful (adj): pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically. 
possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, here, think about, etc; delighting the senses or mind.
Some synonyms include: attractive, pretty, handsome, good-looking, alluring, prepossessing, 
Society teaches us that being beautiful is the definition of success.
They equate beauty with happiness.
I am here to challenge this fact.
No one is perfect. Not even the supermodels.
And being beautiful isn't everything.
Be MORE than beautiful.

Be-YOU-tiful

Not just in your outward appearance but let your inner beauty shine brighter and make you even more lovely on the outside. Use beautiful as a noun. Act beautiful. Speak beautiful words. Do beautiful things. Be mindful of the beautiful life we live. Find beauty in the breakdown.

"You are proof that life is beautiful."

"Nothing beautiful asks for attention."

"That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they're pretty. It's like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste."
-John Green

"You can't spell beautiful without be you."

"The sign of a beautiful person is that they always see beauty in others."

"Is fat really the worst thing a human being can be? Is fat worse than vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain, boring, evil, or cruel? Not to me."
-J.K. Rowling

"I will not compare myself to strangers on the internet."

"Butterflies cannot see their wings. But the rest of the world can."

"You. You are beautiful and while you may not see it, we can."

"Writing is an underestimated art, you are painting colorful images in people's minds by using words of black and white."

"It's beautiful, isn't it? How it all hurts but we never give up."

"If the words you spoke appeared on your skin, would you still be beautiful?"

"...that's the most beautiful thing in the world when two people become fluent in choosing one another."

"Sweet one, why do you think these thoughts? You are everything. Courageous and brave. Intelligent and witty. There is a fire in your soul, burning so bright the stars are jealous. You will find your way, I promise think about it. Think about saving yourself. Your spiritual self. Your gut self. Your singing magical self and your beautiful self. Save it. Don't join the dead-in-spirit. Maintain yourself with humor and grace and finally, if necessary, wager yourself as you struggle. Damn the odds, damn the price. Only you can save yourself. Do it! Do it! Then you'll know exactly what I am talking about."
-Charles Bukowski

"The most beautiful stories always start with wreckage."

"Girl, we need you to be the very best version of who God created you to be. Not her."
-Carly Lynn

"Challenge the lies you've told yourself."
-TWLOHA

 I love this picture of me. I feel like I look beautiful... inside and out. A real princess.

 Haha I found this silly picture on Brie's computer. It was 2015. Jude's 1st birthday party. It was Harry Potter themed and that was me being sorted wearing the sorting hat.


This picture was taken in Yellowstone on a weekend getaway with Brie and Tyson in June 2015. It was soon after my ex husband and I broke up and I got out of the hospital after miraculously recovering from liver failure.

 Can you say DARK hair?! 2011ish? Also found on Brie's computer.

Brie, Jude, and I in 2015 right before my world fell to pieces.

Isn't it crazy and surreal to find pictures of yourself that you had no idea existed? 
They are beautiful... not because of the people in them but because of the stories, the moments. the texture that makes them gorgeous.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

<W/L3
C



Sunday, January 28, 2018

To Create a Masterpiece You Must Master Peace



Permanent pause
Waiting for applause
Without a cause
A sea of naus
Reign whether rain or shine
The girl you "knew"
She's gone forever
I rise anew
You thought you were clever
She's severed ties of poison and lies
Because darling you didn't realize
You had everything in your arms
And you don't cause angels harm
She's ringing the alarm
When I love you isn't enough
You have three choices
Let it take you over rough
Poker face and keep up a bluff
Add "er" to the suff
Or listen to the voices
That tell you hold on
One day you will belong
Your song will be sung
There is fault in our stars
All we can do is make this time ours
Reality hits me like closed doors
At the realization I'll never be yours
Honey, you didn't break me
Can't you see?
She's dead.
And her words and love died unsaid
You all saw through her like ghost
Now you share stories of who loved her most
Her heart broke and shattered
To no one it mattered
It's effortless to pretend you care
When the life of the girl is no longer there
Why did you save her?
You think you did
She's half dead and in pain
She's a shell
Of life
You should've let her go
The sadness overflows
And in dreams she dies
And wakes up alive and cries.
The impossible dreams are lies.

-By me (C)

Monday, January 1, 2018

Quiet

Quiet -MILCK
Put on your face.
Know your place.
Shut up and smile.
Don't spread your legs.
I could do that.

But no one knows me no one ever will.
If I don't say something, if I just lie still.
Would I be that monster, scare them all away.
If I let them hear what I have to say.

I can't keep quiet, no oh oh oh oh oh oh
I can't keep quiet, no oh oh oh oh oh oh
A one woman riot, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

I can't keep quiet
For anyone
Anymore.

Cuz no one knows me no one ever will.
If I don't say anything, take that dry blue pill.
They may see that monster, they may run away.
But I have to do this.

Oh I can't keep quiet
*Let it out Let it out now*
*Let it out now*
There'll be someone who understands
*Let it out Let it out now*
*Let it out now*
Must be someone who'll understand.
*Let it out Let it out now*
*Let it out now*
There'll be someone who understands.
*Let it out Let it out now*
I can't keep quiet, no oh oh oh oh oh oh 

I can't keep quiet.
No, I won't keep quiet.