Fire Burns Brighter In The Darkness
closing your eyes won't help
I read this quote. It really struck me.
"Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now."
Now I believe... NO I KNOW there is a heaven.
But we are on this earth right now.
NOW.
I firmly believe in living in the now. Planning for the future is important. I think planning and dreaming and preparing is essential. However, what about now? Love living, breathing, taking in, being in now. Don't waste your life, your time, your energy, your love. Use it now. Be happy. Don't let anything or anyone stop you. Don't waste your time looking at the past either. Move forward and love where you are going. I love the following quote from the word magician Tyler Knott Gregson:
"I stand in total wonder at the display before me. The best things truly come when you have the patience to endure."
You've read my previous posts about my endometriosis. If not, they are available on my blog to read.
Maybe you wonder why I am sharing such personal information, but I can't keep it inside me.
I wish I would've had someone who could've told me these things. Their story. Their trial and error.
The truth is, endometriosis is a life sentence.
It's painful.
It's difficult.
It's tear inducing.
It's wrenching.
It's cruel.
It's unbearable at times.
It can feel hopeless.
Always.
Always.
ALWAYS.
Remember you can't spell hopeless without hope.
There is always hope.
There are medical advances.
Here's an update on the story of a girl living with endometriosis, namely, me.
And Ryan, my dear sweet husband, Ryan.
The best day of our forever. 5/11/13. The day I became a princess. The day I married my prince.
The day I became Mrs. Charley Brooke Syndergaard. The day my dreams came true.
And we still smile no matter what!
Be positive. Be in love. Be you!
We
kiss :) And shop! And live each moment like it's our last.
He basically takes my breath away.
:( Hospital stay after my hysterectomy.
Poor sick girl. However, she has her sweetheart always by her side, always steady, always strong, always holding on. Always and forever.
YUCK! This is barium sulfate. I had to drink this YUMMY (not!) shake last Friday.
TWO of them.
They taste citrusy but like white paint! They look like white paint and taste like it.
As I said in my Halloween post,
I had surgery on Halloween.
Well a few weeks ago, Ry and I went to my amazing doctor.
I've still been in immensely, excruciating pain.
Still pelvic pain.
Also, I'd been having left upper quadrant pain that I thought might be breast or chest pain.
That led to a visit to the ER.
Don't get me started on ERs.
I know they are busy.
I work in the healthcare field and have for almost four years.
I just don't appreciate how they've treated me.
We need better hospital patient care.
Another story for another post...
Moving on, my doctor ordered a CT scan with contrast.
So Ry took me Friday after drinking my icky drinks to get a CT.
CT scans aren't as scary as they seem.
You get an IV with contrast they push through you.
It makes your entire body feel hot and flushed. It makes you feel like you're peeing your pants! You aren't though :)
You lie on a table that moves you through this circle shaped machine (The CT) a few times and then BAM it's over.
I got my results Monday.
The scans show what the radiologist called a splenic hemangioma.
This is what it looks like ...
This is what it looks like ...
You can go ahead and Google that.
It's what my friends and family did.
The results are slim.
Basically it is a mostly benign tumor of blood vessels.
It's incredibly RARE except it's one of the most common types of splenic tumors.
Treatment is debatable.
Luckily for me, I work in an office of general surgeons :)
Plus I have the best OB doctor ever.
I'm in good hands.
We're wondering if it could be endometriosis spread to the spleen.
Either way, each condition is RARE.
My family and friends are worried, but we laugh at this.
I'm a lemon on the inside haha.
The health problems I have are crazy and bizarre.
The rest of my family are all healthy.
I have doctors appointments this coming week.
I just want to be out of pain!!!
Pain is there to tell us something.
I thank God that we have medical advances to give us answers.
I'll keep you updated on what happens.
Where's Dr. House when you need him?!
I have faith all will be well.
I am a lucky girl all in all.
I am THANKFUL for everything.
I am THANKFUL for YOU, my lovelies.
My life.
My love.
My family.
My friends.
My home.
My mom, dad, soon to be stepmother Tressa, my stepfather Bob, my step siblings Tyler, Jordan, Tanner, and Colton, my sister-in-law Britton, my in laws Cindy and Paul, Amber, Tyler, Lisa, Paul, Scott, Courtney, Brett, Kyle, my sisters McHale and Jordan, my little brother and twin Christian, my best friends of all time Deedra, Aubrey, Tyson, Stacie, and Lexie, everyone who has changed my life for the better, my grandparents Nettie and Curt, my Aunt Michelle, Uncle Robert, cousins Kyler and Madison, and most of all, my HUSBAND... RYAN PAUL SYNDERGAARD
Family is Forever.
Eternal love.
The beautiful Tressa and my dad Ron.
The best friends I girl could dream of...
Jordan (sister), Brie, me, Dee, McHale (sister) & Stace
The Syndergaard Family :)
I just love them!
Scott, Courtney, Lisa, Ry, me, Paul, & Brett!
MY FAMILIA-the Allen family
Lambsey (Christian), Grandma Curt, Ryan, me, Momzy, Bob, McHale, Jordan, Aunt Michelle, Uncle Robert, Madison, BOTTOM ROW: Jordan (stepbro), Britton (step sister-in-law), Tanner (stepbro), and Tyler (stepbro).
Always love,
Love always
<W/L3 [with love]
Charley Brooke Syndergaard
